Busybird Publishing Open Mic Night 102
By Sue Ellson
On Wednesday 17 July 2024, I attended the Busybird Publishing Open Mic Night #102 and read out my poem ‘Domestic Violence‘ that I wrote and published on 26 July 2022.
This poem is based on my lived, observed and researched experience.
On the night, I mentioned why I chose to read out this poem.
- I wrote this poem because I had contacted a practicing psychologist, Meredith Fuller OAM via LinkedIn to ask her what topics are often talked about in the counselling chair. She asked me if I could write a piece on the topic of Domestic Violence and she then requested permission for it to be added to her e-book ‘Understanding Family Violence – a psychological approach‘ in the Appendix Section, page jj.
- This poem was found online by Dublin City University Student Caroline Bowe on 8 June 2023 and she requested permission for it to be published in her PhD on Post Traumatic Growth.
- It is the most viewed poem on my website – with 2,106 views from 1,443 different people.
At the end of the evening, a woman approached me to ask if it was based on my personal experience as she shared that she could relate to many of the words in the poem.
Yes, it is partly based on my own lived experience, but sadly, I have listened to many other women share their experiences of difficult relationships and these themes have also been included.
Most distressingly for me, there was one woman who ‘kept going back’ and ultimately, couldn’t leave despite multiple departures over many years and an extensive network of support that was put in place. Even after her partner died, she could not find peace.
So, as I share this poem once again, my hope is that I can reach someone who needs that little bit of encouragement to understand the challenges they face, to have the courage to find ways to help themselves and their partner and to ultimately live a life where all of their relationships are based on mutual respect.
Special thanks to Kev Howlett for the use of this Live Video Footage from Facebook and Les Zig for being the Facilitator of the Open Mic Night.
Domestic Violence Poem
By Sue Ellson
In relationship I thought
I would find true love
After all it had such
A wonderful start
I connected deeply
In heart and mind
Their touch, their word
Was all I wanted to find
Then one day
A trigger occurred
The hurt began
My soul was stirred
But what is love
If it has conditions
Surely it was a mistake
And they had their reasons
The comments, the moods
The challenges, the torments
They started increasing
Cascading intolerance
By now I was bent
Quite out of shape
Doubting myself
But longing for escape
Who would believe me
How would I survive
Trapped like a prisoner
And locked inside
A mind that couldn’t function
A house not a home
Fearful each moment
Nowhere to roam
My dreams vanished
Survival was all I knew
From this breath to the next
Was all that I could do
I would catch glimpses
Of what life could be like
But it wouldn’t take long
For me to be back in strife
Wrong, wrong
It was always my fault
Wrong, wrong
My heart locked in a vault
Tears, fears
Darkness and terror
Must I remain
In this horror forever
How can I protect
Myself and my loved ones
When I can hardly breathe
Have no resources or funds
Desperate and dismayed
I see no way out
I’ve tried before
But I’m back on this couch
Mixed emotions plague my day
Freedom excites but fear makes me stay
Glimmers of joy light my mind
Maybe it could work this final time
Let me take a small step
To get the help I need
It must be out there
Let me plant the first seed
Let me listen and learn
And find a way forward
I may not have to leave
But I need to move onward
Yes I need help
And my partner does too
It may not be easy
But I’ll see what I can do
Some people won’t understand
And that’s okay
I will explain later
On a brighter day
To rescue and repair
My broken reality
It could take years
To return to normality
But on this journey
Of life and living
With help and support
One day I’ll be thriving
I’ll learn to receive
Kindness and care
I’ll understand my worth
And set boundaries fair
I know there is love
In so many forms
Beyond touch and presence
Its power transforms
In kindness I’ll reflect
On what I’ve survived
I’ll dive within
And cherish my prize
Wisdom and insight
Will give me strength
For now I know
I can go any length
Shared on Busybird Publishing Facebook Live at 00:44:33 Archive.org, Presentations Page, Re-Published Poems Page, Facebook Page, Facebook Profile, Google, LinkedIn Profile, LinkedIn Page, Twitter / X YouTube
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