Domestic Violence Poem
By Sue Ellson
In relationship I thought
I would find true love
After all it had such
A wonderful start
I connected deeply
In heart and mind
Their touch, their word
Was all I wanted to find
Then one day
A trigger occurred
The hurt began
My soul was stirred
But what is love
If it has conditions
Surely it was a mistake
And they had their reasons
The comments, the moods
The challenges, the torments
They started increasing
Cascading intolerance
By now I was bent
Quite out of shape
Doubting myself
But longing for escape
Who would believe me
How would I survive
Trapped like a prisoner
And locked inside
A mind that couldn’t function
A house not a home
Fearful each moment
Nowhere to roam
My dreams vanished
Survival was all I knew
From this breath to the next
Was all that I could do
I would catch glimpses
Of what life could be like
But it wouldn’t take long
For me to be back in strife
Wrong, wrong
It was always my fault
Wrong, wrong
My heart locked in a vault
Tears, fears
Darkness and terror
Must I remain
In this horror forever
How can I protect
Myself and my loved ones
When I can hardly breathe
Have no resources or funds
Desperate and dismayed
I see no way out
I’ve tried before
But I’m back on this couch
Mixed emotions plague my day
Freedom excites but fear makes me stay
Glimmers of joy light my mind
Maybe it could work this final time
Let me take a small step
To get the help I need
It must be out there
Let me plant the first seed
Let me listen and learn
And find a way forward
I may not have to leave
But I need to move onward
Yes I need help
And my partner does too
It may not be easy
But I’ll see what I can do
Some people won’t understand
And that’s okay
I will explain later
On a brighter day
To rescue and repair
My broken reality
It could take years
To return to normality
But on this journey
Of life and living
With help and support
One day I’ll be thriving
I’ll learn to receive
Kindness and care
I’ll understand my worth
And set boundaries fair
I know there is love
In so many forms
Beyond touch and presence
Its power transforms
In kindness I’ll reflect
On what I’ve survived
I’ll dive within
And cherish my prize
Wisdom and insight
Will give me strength
For now I know
I can go any length
This is the second poem in a series related to personal issues that can be addressed with the support of a coach, counsellor, psychologist, allied health professional or natural therapist. For simplicity, I will call them ‘psychology poems.’
They are not designed to replace professional support and if you need some personal assistance, I encourage you to seek the help you need. I hope that these poems provide insights, awareness and inspiration – for people who are currently facing this issue or know someone who is. Feedback is most welcome in the comments below.
This poem was requested by Meredith Fuller OAM, a Melbourne based psychologist, author and filmmaker for a film on the topic of Domestic Violence called Home Truths and was included in her e-book on ‘Understanding Family Violence.’
Like many people, I have known victims, survivors and perpetrators of domestic violence and I have incorporated various themes in this poem.
I have already received some feedback on this poem and it is listed below and additional comments are welcome. This poem has been written from a gender neutral perspective as domestic violence can occur in all types of relationships from one or more people. Sadly, it has a ripple effect to other loved ones including colleagues, friends, family members and children who witness this behaviour. Some people try to offer help, others ignore it.
After witnessing the effects on a person I knew, I understand the difficulty that victims have in leaving these situations and whilst I don’t personally understand what triggers the violence, I know that there is help available for everyone involved.
Please note that my reflections here are of an artistic nature rather than a professional nature. With love, Sue Ellson 🙂
Photo is of steps at The Rocks precinct in Sydney, New South Wales on Saturday 4 June 2022.
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Feedback
26/07/2022 This is superb. I would love to include your poem in e-book. I can see this at the end – what a wonderful way to conclude. You have captured so much.
27/07/2022 You should be and I hope you are very proud of this poem – there is heart and soul in it. I was deeply moved by it.
28/07/2022 That poem is beautiful and would touch many people on that very personal level – like you know and can express their trauma in an artistic, lyrical way that gives a gentle order to the muddle or chaos they hold in their souls . It has the deeply personal and universal appeal at the same time. It’s like when we’re at a big music concert but the band feels like they’re singing just to me Renée Brack (with permission)
Publication
On 17 July 2024, I read out this poem at the Busybird Publishing Open Mic Night #102
See my other poems here or subscribe to the monthly email newsletter to receive links to the latest publications.