Baggage Poem

By Sue Ellson

On the journey of life
I’ve collected experiences
Some good, some bad
With lots of differences

Some are buried
Deep within
Others make me smile
A happy grin

Some are unknown
All tucked away
Then suddenly burst
And cause affray

Some are heavy
And a constant burden
Tiring me always
As they stay unspoken

Some are lingering
Without resolution
Despite my attempts
To create a solution

Some are reminders
Of a past I want back
But life moves on
Despite the hopes I pack

If only my baggage
Could adjust to each season
Then maybe I’d find peace
And stop trying to reason

To truly be me
I’ll carry what I need
In trust I’ll release
So I can be freed

For if I keep the baggage
Of what’s been before
I’ll stifle the chance
To grow and explore

The world is waiting
For me to see
That joy can be found
In my reality

I have faced several significant transitions in the last twelve months and whilst many people may dismiss them as ‘life events’ and ‘first world problems,’ I have found them very challenging. Maybe it was because they have all happened close together or because they could be classified as ‘defining moments’ on this journey we call ‘life.’

For example, my hair could no longer cope with being dyed on a regular basis so I made the decision to stop dyeing it. I am very aware of the focus our Western culture has on youth and although my hair has never looked healthier or feel this nice in decades (it started going grey when I was 25), I have lived with the fear that this could impact my earning capacity.

So far, it hasn’t as I have developed many excellent business relationships over many years and people value my skills over my appearance, but I can assure you that my belief in my own personal worth has been challenged and this could be associated with the ‘baggage’ of believing what society thinks about undyed hair.

Of course most of us have topics we do not want to talk about. Past disappointments that no matter what we do, seem to remain. Hopes that can never be fulfilled. Situations that can never be reversed. Hurtful words that are seared in our mind and form part of our beliefs. Coping mechanisms we have adopted to avoid the pain we feel if we try to unpack the ‘baggage’ we are carrying.

That is what prompted this poem. The sense that I am carrying some baggage that I cannot release. It keeps me stuck believing that I cannot move forward. That some things will simply never change.

But it holds me back.

It keeps me playing small.

It tries to keep me safe, but it keeps me trapped in a loop that I continue to repeat.

So hopefully, after realising that the ‘world is waiting’ and I don’t have to carry this baggage (and neither do you), that regardless of my (our) current reality, joy can be found. Here’s hoping that I (we) have the strength to let it go. With love, Sue Ellson 🙂

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Photo is of a backpack that was given to me many years ago.