Love Within Poem

Love Within Poem By Sue Ellson

Love Within Poem

By Sue Ellson

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
The time bomb ticks

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
It gets louder

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
It sounds closer

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
It fades as I forget
Just for a moment, my years of regret
My trauma of torment

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
It gets louder again
Triggered by a word
Unknowingly said

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
The sound of life
The sound of death
The sound of time
Counted in breaths

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
In blindness I defend
The undefendable
In awareness I pretend
I know what’s possible

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
Here I sit
In wretched pain
Just waiting for the time bomb
To go off again

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
To pause for a moment
To feel the pain
It feels like I am trapped
In endless rain

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
For emotions trapped
Within my heart
Cursed by addictions
I continually start

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
Please stop that tick
I feel so sick
Put that time bomb away
It is causing affray

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
My heart continues to beat
Fast then slow
As I allow for flow

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
I slowly release
Just one small regret
Without objection

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
One kind remark
Can light a spark
Of the fuse within
But this is not a bomb
It’s love not sin

 

Tick
Tick
Tick
Let that love release
Change that tick to a beat
Create a rhythm for walking
The path that I seek

 

Beat
Beat
Beat
I resist the move
But it makes me groove

 

Beat
Beat
Beat
It hurts to feel
It hurts to seek

 

Beat
Beat
Beat
I stumble
I fall
I hit
A wall
I get up
I smile
I wait
A while

 

Beat
Beat
Beat
I see a smile
As I look in the mirror
Almost renewed
A true survivor

 

Beat
Beat
Beat
I carry on triumphant
I carry on defiant
To truly be
I must be me

 

After I received a very distressing phone call in 2009, my life changed forever. Ever since that day, I have felt like a time bomb has been ticking and every so often, it will go off. Sometimes just a rumble, other times, a significant explosion. Sometimes I can foresee it, sometimes it strikes me unawares. I have tried to live beside the time bomb, hearing its tick every so often, but I have come to realise that it won’t stop ticking until I release the timer. No amount of distractions or alternative ideas or even louder noises can dim a constant ticking sound. However, when I walk away from the sound and have the courage to find a solution, I can hear my heart beat again. My heart has been jump started several times by the kindness of both friends and strangers. I can see the bomb now, I can feel its presence. But I choose to live with it and the ticking stops and my heart beat drowns out the noise. I hope the love in your heart can conquer any time bombs you may have ticking in your life now and I hope you have the courage to allow love to overcome. With love, Sue Ellson 🙂

Photo is of a red pelargonium flower in a garden in Canterbury, Melbourne, Victoria taken on 20 August 2021.

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