My Story Poem

By Sue Ellson

 

It happened one day
The big thing that changed my life
It created a narrative
That has run absolutely rife

 

In hindsight I can see
It wasn’t how my life was meant to be
So I relive that moment frequently
Quietly suffocating so slowly

 

I think about how it ruined my chances
And stopped me from future advances
How it kept me playing oh so small
Just expecting there to be another fall

 

Then one day I watched a video online
About a guy who had a story just like mine
Of a moment in time that defined his life
Like the pain of a cut from a very blunt knife

 

My heart ached and the tears welled
How on earth could I counter my years of hell
I could see that I had to find a way
To radically accept I was still okay

 

Now how do I find
A way to settle my mind
To rewrite the story so carefully scripted
To let go and free fall without that prescription?

 

As I uncover what I’ve lost
I can also see what I’ve found
As I reflect on my life
I start to hear a new sound

 

The heartbeat within
Of survival, of strength
Of faith, of love
There is no need to lament

 

It is what happened
It happened to me
But life is a story
Of how to be

 

It doesn’t automatically have a beginning, middle and end
It starts, it stops, it changes again
So as I start to release my story of old
I will carry my heart in a gentle hold

 

For the sweetness within
Is pure and forgiving
My mind will catch up
And I will really start living

 

As the sun rises each and every day
I will think about my future
And how I want to be
I will let go of those stories
And truly be me

 

I watched a video on Facebook by Kerwin Rae which showed a ‘healing’ session he had with Peter Crone and he recalled the separation of his parents at the age of six months and how he had been living with that ‘narrative’ for most of his life. It reminded me of a narrative I have used that has often defined my life and it made me think about what that story has both helped and hindered in my own development. It also made me think about the life I would like to create in the future and how to be a story rather than how to tell a story…With love, Sue Ellson 🙂

Photo is of Steavenson Falls, Marysville Victoria Australia taken on 13 April 2019

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