Suicide Poem
In the silence
When demons appear
Their voices menace
And taunt with fear
Their rationale
Seems so logical
But their intentions are cruel
And ultimately horrible
They capture the mind
In a moment of darkness
They twist and tease
As they fit their harness
They steer you from
Your internal faith
They dispel all wisdom
With lies and hate
Nothing is ever
Without a grain of hope
Their badgering can be used
To widen your scope
To argue for and defend
All that you are
With nothing to fix
Despite any scar
To truly be present
Understand the affray
It is simply a ploy
To help you choose your way
For every challenge
Has a lesson inside
Nurture your soul
On life’s wild ride
Allocate time for rest
As often as needed
Allow new possibilities
To be gently seeded
In the gap between
Despair and relief
Healing can appear
And ease your grief
Look and listen
For kindness and care
Then suddenly you’ll see
It is everywhere
If it takes a while
Have patience and trust
The journey can be bumpy
But all is not lost
Venture outside
In nature and parks
Notice the beauty
And see what starts
Your heart remembers
To keep beating for you
It loves you always
Even if you feel blue
So often we ruminate
On sad memories
We avoid the pain
Of processing our difficulties
We need to keep looking
For an understanding ear
To release the narrative
And get back in gear
Regardless of how grim
You may feel
Sharing your concerns
Will help you heal
We have all felt hopeless
Angry and annoyed
But we have also felt happiness
Excitement and joy
Remember that this
Too will pass
That you can recover
And are up to the task
Reflect on every kind word
You have heard
For it was shared with the love
That you already deserve
You are loved and treasured
From both near and far
Even when the love you seek
Is not up to par
And in the future
You will look back and see
How amazing you are
For living so fully
Keep being you
Let your light shine bright
You are magnificent
In your own right
Stay with us now
Your soul is beautiful
Dreams can come true
And life can be wonderful
I recently attended an event at the Victorian Writers’ Centre in Melbourne on the topic of life writing and in particular, writing a memoir. At the end, I started chatting to an experienced academic in the area of public health and they mentioned that earlier on in their career, they had provided telephone counselling to people who were having extremely dark thoughts and their life was in imminent danger.
This person also told me that most of the people who have suicidal ideation are likely to be the ‘everyday’ type of person facing significant personal challenges, a bit like the ‘bell curve’ distribution for most analysed groups of people. By analysing the total population, public health policies are designed to keep the majority of the public healthy. It was pleasing to hear that the suicide reduction strategies have been effective.
This person also mentioned that during their telephone counselling experience, they would often talk to a caller about the future and the possibilities that are ahead, beyond the current crisis or challenge.
I remember having an ‘afternoon chat‘ with a man who had lost his grandson after a relationship breakdown and how devastated he was that his grandson did not talk to him about his distress in his time of need.
I know, from my own personal experience, that in my darkest moments, gloomy thoughts do appear. I also know that if I wait, they will partly resolve themselves in some way.
For the thoughts that return, I know that I need to seek support, to talk to someone I trust or find someone that can listen and help me work through the issues I am facing, regardless of how painful they feel (I am fully aware that emotional pain can feel as bad or worse than physical pain).
In the meantime, like many people, I find walking outdoors, even just my local streets, very helpful. I focus on eating more nutritious foods, getting more sleep and reducing my workload to the absolute essentials so that I can manage life’s inevitable ups and downs.
When I feel sad, I try to be ‘kind’ to myself until it fades. It isn’t always easy and I have definitely had some lengthy periods of disappointment and frustration.
Perhaps you have too?
I suspect it is a very common experience even though most of us don’t want to talk about it and would rather find a way to avoid the pain we feel.
It can seem easier to avoid the pain rather than deal with it, but in most cases, I have found avoiding it makes things worse. The irony is that when I have truly ‘felt’ the pain, I have felt better afterwards.
As a general habit, I make a conscious effort to look for the ‘good’ parts of my life, and fortunately, even the smallest aspects bring me comfort (oh the joy of a hot shower, clean towels and fresh sheets on my bed when I get back from a camping trip!).
I count my blessings regularly. Living in Australia, there are so many to be grateful for.
By looking for ‘beauty,’ I find it through all of my senses – seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting and smelling. The hardest one for me is the sense of touch. I have become very good at finding clothing and cosy places that feel comforting.
I am extremely conscious that this topic is a sensitive one and that most of us have been affected by the consequences of a suicide of someone we know directly or indirectly. Firstly, let me acknowledge your loss and grief and pass on my sincerest condolences.
I am well aware that the impact can last for a long time and that the recovery process involves multiple strategies, sometimes over many years.
Before publishing this poem, I have asked a variety of people to ‘check’ the content first. It is my intention to help anyone reading this understand that there are many people who genuinely care about your personal wellbeing (even if it feels otherwise right now).
Support Services
Here in Australia, you can confidentially contact:
Lifeline https://www.lifeline.org.au – call, text or chat
Kids Helpline (ages 5 – 25) https://kidshelpline.com.au
Rainbow Door (LGBTIQA+) https://www.rainbowdoor.org.au
Suicide Call Back Service https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/phone-and-online-counselling
– phone, online and video chat
Emergency – call 000 on your phone
Beyond Blue – various resources https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/suicide-prevention and for various helplines and support groups https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/national-mental-health-helplines-and-support-groups
StandBy Support After Suicide – offers free support for people impacted by suicide and is available Australia-wide, including in remote and rural areas https://standbysupport.com.au
If you are based in another country, please look for information in your local area or start with a visit to your local doctor who can connect you with additional resources. Even a chat with a local shop owner can brighten your day.
Please know that you can also reach out if you are concerned about the welfare of someone you know. I was in an acute situation on one occasion with a person I had recently met and I called Lifeline and they provided excellent practical advice. Lifeline also has access to a large database of additional resources that may meet your specific needs so they are an excellent referral service.
It is a sign of strength to ask for help.
I have also completed a Mental Health First Aid Course with Linda Kearley and I strongly recommend this as well! In fact, just like learning Physical First Aid, I think learning about Mental Health First Aid is extremely valuable. I have also completed a Pastoral Care course and one of the participants relayed how much they had been affected by the consequences of their son’s death and the memory of that story has remained with me for many years.
I would also like to acknowledge the people who know a lot about this topic but still find themselves caught in a difficult situation either in relation to their own life or someone they know. I have lived with the ‘threat’ of suicide from someone I know for many years and I know how exhausting it can be.
One of the people I contacted before publishing this poem was Yvonne Junor. She is the author of ‘Finding My Rainbow‘ – a personal memoir that reflects on her life after her husband died. She is also happy to talk to people about this topic and you can reach out to her directly via her Rainbow Connexions website.
Finally, from the bottom of my heart, this poem and explanation was written with the genuine intention of helping anyone who reads it. You are welcome to share it with others if you believe it will be helpful. If you share it on social media, please @mention me so I can engage directly and acknowledge your sharing.
If you are at the point of intense suffering right now, PLEASE reach out to people in your local area, in person or using technology in a way that suits you, as I am certain they will want to help. Remember, it is a sign of strength to ask for help. With love, Sue Ellson 🙂
Photo: Flowering plant in the Cloudehill Garden in Olinda on 6 January 2025.
TRIGGER WARNING // It is with a sense of heartfelt empathy that I share this poem on the topic of suicide.
Like many people, I have lost people I know to suicide, heard stories from other people who have lost loved ones to suicide, been close to people with suicidal ideation and lived with the fear of suicide of people close to me.
I know that I am not alone in this either.
It is a difficult topic that most of us prefer not to talk about. But after doing a Mental Health First Aid Course with Linda Kearley, I learnt that it is okay to talk about it.
When I met a Public Health Academic recently at a Writers Victoria ‘writing a memoir’ event, I was reminded of the importance of this issue.
So rather than ignore it, I have spent several weeks gathering my thoughts, getting them checked and have now published a poem and a backgrounder on this at https://sueellson.com/blog/suicide-poem
➡️ Essentially, my message is that it is a sign of strength to ask for help.
You are welcome to add a comment to this post, but please ensure it is respectful.
I am also happy to receive direct messages.
I am well aware that this topic is a long way from my area of professional expertise. But I sincerely hope it provides help to anyone who reads it.
Hugs to all. 🤗
TRIGGER WARNING // It is with a sense of heartfelt empathy that I share this poem on the topic of suicide.
Like many people, I have lost people I know to suicide, heard stories from other people who have lost loved ones to suicide, been close to people with suicidal ideation and lived with the fear of suicide of people close to me.
I know that I am not alone in this either.
It is a difficult topic that most of us prefer not to talk about. But after doing a Mental Health First Aid Course with Linda Kearley, I learnt that it is okay to talk about it.
When I met a Public Health Academic recently at a Writers Victoria ‘writing a memoir’ event, I was reminded of the importance of this issue.
So rather than ignore it, I have spent several weeks gathering my thoughts, getting them checked and have now published a poem and a backgrounder on this at https://sueellson.com/blog/suicide-poem
➡️ Essentially, my message is that it is a sign of strength to ask for help.
You are welcome to add a comment to this post, but please ensure it is respectful.
I am also happy to receive direct messages.
I am well aware that this topic is a long way from my area of professional expertise. But I sincerely hope it provides help to anyone who reads it.
Hugs to all. 🤗
#suicide #suicidalideation #SueEllson #SueEllsonPoem #poem #poetry
Feedback
“An excellent poem! You handled the topic so sensitively, with eloquence, insight and courage. Bravo 🙌, I am so proud 🥲 of your effort. Congratulations!”
“Awesome Sue. Done with so much care. A message of internal strength, hope and so much more. Beautifully and subtly executed.”
“It was a courageous act, bringing the topic up in a positive and safe way, hopefully a portal to dealing with the topic in a safe and constructive manner! Well done 👍”
“Good on you again for this. It is a true gift to be able to reach people, to be able to resonate with them. Helping people you don’t ever get to meet.”
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