After Separation Poem
Shortly after separation
I looked out the window to see
The world had changed to colour
From the black and white previously
And in that moment
All that was wrong felt right
But little did I know
That was not the end of the fight
My circumstances had left me
In daily survival mode
No time to process my grief
Or lighten my shameful load
So off to therapy I went
All different types I tried
And just as I thought I’d made progress
I’d have a setback and start to slide
Back into the comfort of pain
The place that felt like home
For that was my new normal
From which I could not roam
It was like I’d have to leave
Over and over again
Every little trigger
Keeping me from my zen
By now my soul was in pieces
Given to so many others
How do I claim it back
And release the mask that covers
The guilt, the fear
The rage and hurt
The sadness and sorrow
The questions of worth
Why, why, why
Am I stuck in this loop
Time has now passed
I need to regroup
I’ll find a process
That works for me
The words I’ll find
To truly be
They’ll appear on a page
Or be spoken aloud
A kind heart will respond
So I can stand proud
Of all that I’ve overcome
In whatever way possible
Despite the mistakes
And the occasional wobble
Although I still feel
Like a cork on the ocean
The water still supports
My every motion
I’d like to thank
All those involved
For each new discovery
As I’ve evolved
I’ll find a way
To honour this help
And finally live
As myself
I’ll find the truth
With joy and care
For self and others
Everywhere
In that grace
I’ll finally see
The love within
And its beauty
This poem was written on Mother’s Day in Australia for the book curated by Grace Lee, ‘Still She Writes‘ and was published in it along with the Domestic Violence Poem. With love, Sue Ellson 🙂
#afterseparation #SueEllson #SueEllsonPoem #poem #poetry
Photo is of the sky at West Beach in South Australia on 23 March 2025.
Related Poems
Empty Chairs at Empty Tables Poem
The Great Respect – Lived Experience Activism and Advocacy – article by Sue Ellson
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