Busy Poem
I am busy, so busy
I don’t have time to think
I am busy, so busy
So close to the brink
I am busy, so busy
I can’t face the demons inside
I am busy, so busy
So I can allow them to hide
I am busy, so busy
Just keeping up with life
I am busy, so busy
Trying to keep out of strife
I am busy, so busy
That’s why I don’t call
I am busy, so busy
So close to a fall
I am busy, so busy
There is no time for sleep
I am busy, so busy
That’s why I say bleep
I am busy, so busy
Please be kind whilst I am away
I am busy, so busy
It’s me, not you, who cannot stay
I can’t be controlled
But I am in a rut
You can’t make suggestions
I will just say ‘but’
So please be kind
Let me speak my mind
And one day I will reveal
What I can no longer conceal
The loss, the pain, the grief from the past
The sadness, the despair, the disappointments that last
I need your love
Your listening ear
Your kindest words
Some jolly good cheer
I just need somewhere safe
To deal with this stuff
I don’t want to fear
An unfortunate rebuff
When I find it within
Or through people who tune in
I will start to heal
And begin to be real
I might slow down
Or completely stop
For a moment
A month or even longer
I hope it doesn’t take a major disaster
To get off this train that keeps going faster
For my heart truly knows that it is just an excuse
To avoid slowing down and making a truce
To once and for all
Forgive and grieve
Everything unresolved
That is hidden in me
Little by little
I can change my pace
And find new ways
To enjoy my own space
Then I won’t be so busy
And I will have time to think
To plan what to do
Without turning pink
Harmony will return
As I find a new rhythm
With stops and starts
On my very own mission
Then one day I will look back
On my busy phase
And wonder why
I wasted so many days
Chasing, pushing, fighting, sighing
Tired, lonely and nearly crying
It’s time to stop being so busy
And live a life that’s much more cruisy!
There is no need to be perfect
Or wait until when
Live life right now
The door is open…
Accept those tears
And face those fears
Take a quick look around
To find what you have already found
I read an interesting article about people being busy, even rest resistant and using it as a way to avoid dealing with what they do not want to face.
It got me thinking about several people I know and even me at various stages of my own life.
All too often, I am tempted to provide help or assistance without a request and I must remind myself to just be available and willing to listen. It isn’t easy as I like to help, but it can be perceived as controlling.
Unfortunately, with one of my best friends, I did provide my version of help and it was not the right thing to do. I have apologised several times, but I fear that it has done irrepairable damage to our friendship.
So I guess in a way, this poem is a reminder to me to stop being busy with the needs of others and remind me to focus on my own life, even if I don’t like being the centre of attention. I also need to stop thinking about it over and over again.
I am sure there are many other people like me who would prefer to help someone else rather than deal with their own challenges, which is probably another reason (apart from social media and modern society) why we end up being so darn busy! With love, Sue Ellson 🙂
Photo is of the door to the place where I spent time writing in Clifton Springs, Victoria on 12 July 2016
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If this poem brings up uncomfortable feelings, I encourage you to talk to a trusted friend, a telephone counsellor or make an appointment to see your doctor so that you can access further support. Further personal support information is available on the Health Direct website and you can also call or chat online to Lifeline, an excellent information, support and referral service.
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