Missing Poem

By Sue Ellson

I find myself missing
What I had before
I look for the blessing
But my heart is so sore

It longs for the past
The moments of memory
It languishes with loss
And replays my sad story

It seeks to replace
My fervent heart’s desire
But somehow I must wait
On the path to something higher

To realise the impermanence
In everything that happens
To truly be alive
I must pass on all the batons

To celebrate the joys
Of each and every experience
For even in my sadness
I deepen my transcendence

And therein lies the gift
Of missing what I had
For now I understand
What makes me extra glad

Missing has the power
To reach my inner core
The beauty of endless love
To open any door

The time between Christmas Day on 25 December and the New Year on 1 January is something I look forward to and at the same time, do not look forward to every year.

As my usual work slows down, the streets become quieter and people go away for holidays, I have time to reflect on my own life and that of people I know.

One person I know is dealing with a significant loss and seems to be living each day in a similar sad way and whilst I try to be upbeat and positive and provide some form of help, it doesn’t seem to make any difference.

With extra time to reflect, I feel particularly sensitive about some of the challenges I have faced and how my own life didn’t turn out quite how I had expected. Trying to reconcile that is not easy.

Ironically though, I am aware that when I do dive into my melancholy to try and understand what I am ‘missing’ or am disappointed about, I actually find what brings me joy and happiness – so without the negative, I have a sense that I would not be able to find the positive.

Thankfully, I have some very dear sweet friends who listen to me when I need to process my thoughts.

However, when I find the positives of my life, I need to look at what I do on a daily basis and make some choices. Do I really want to wallow in any form of self-pity? Hell no. Do I want to count my blessings? Hell yes.

Can I accept the things I cannot change? Well I am still working on that one!

I often think there must be some human-assisted way forward (after all, we are not still living in caves so surely we should be able to help one another)…but I am learning that sometimes, there isn’t. Life is simply about continuing. With love, Sue Ellson 🙂

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Photo in the poem is of a seagull sitting on a fence at Point Lonsdale, Victoria on 18 October 2025.