People Pleaser Poem

People Pleaser Poem By Sue Ellson Ruffey Lake Park Doncaster Melbourne Victoria Australia

People Pleaser Poem

By Sue Ellson

I am a people pleaser
It is so easy to see
Always thinking of others
And forgetting about me


I am a people pleaser
So keen to always impress
Never satisfied with mediocre
I forget to ever rest


I am a people pleaser
No request is beyond my capacity
Forgoing my own desires
I forget my own morality


I am a people pleaser
I find it hard to say no
My boundaries are often compromised
I forget to run my own show


I am a people pleaser
Looking for some form of validation
No matter how I often I receive praise
I forget to feel gratification


I am a people pleaser
Who hears your hurtful remarks
But despite your bad behaviour
I forget to resist your barbs


I delude myself by being nice
Thinking one day this will all pass
Then eventually I’ll be loved
Without constantly completing tasks


But this cycle of people pleasing
Has kept me safe in the company of others
They may not have abandoned me directly
But they have somehow become my masters


Do I have the courage
To let them go with ease
To make my own choices without approval
To finally truly be me


I’ll start by keeping quiet
Not sharing my hopes and dreams
But I will take little steps each day
And unravel these restrictive seams


I’ll accept full responsibility
It’s okay to do what I want
I’ll bypass feeling guilty
And live in a state of abundance


Free from a life of servility
Basking in tranquility
Peaceful to the core
Complete without wanting more


I have all that I need
No more people pleasing for me
I’ve abandoned all obligation
So I can live my life with glee


I have been on a significant self-care journey this year and it has been extremely enlightening. Last week, I realised that I could easily qualify for a ‘People Pleasers Anonymous‘ recovery group.

A lot of what is mentioned in this poem comes from my own personal lived experience. I have found myself in situations where I have defaulted to being a people pleaser rather than being my authentic self.

I now understand why. It was a way to keep me feeling safe and connected to others, but it hasn’t been healthy and has often led to a feeling of overwhelm and burnout. I realise it is a coping mechanism, so I am not going to beat myself up about it.

But by sharing it in a poem, I hope it helps other people pleasers understand that they are not alone and that there is a way forward. I am no expert on that, but I am making changes in my life and already reaping the benefits! With love, Sue Ellson

Photo is of Ruffey Lake Park in Doncaster, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia on Saturday 8 July 2023.

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