Why you shouldn’t refuse an invitation this Christmas
By Sue Ellson
I had a phone call from a guy this week who met me via Newcomers Network over 10 years ago and he is newly single and still in the ‘suffering’ phase. He has decided that he wants to do something with ‘other singles’ rather than with families and others this year as they would ‘understand him’ and make the Christmas holidays better for him.
Well, I have been single for nearly 13 years. So I have lived through lots of Christmases without someone special beside me. It turns out that this guy had received many invitations from his friends to join them, but he has automatically ruled them out.
Now, as I am an ‘experienced’ single person now, I want to share that if you are ‘newly’ single this year and you have been invited to join others, please try and go.
Here’s a few reasons why…
1) They invited you because they want to see you
2) They invited you because they want to be able to help and not make you feel alone
3) They like you and value your relationship (mixing with new singles you don’t know is not as easy)
4) They have confidence in you and know that you won’t be there to steal their partner
5) They wouldn’t invite you if they didn’t want you to come
Now secondly, here are some ways for you to cope:
1) Make the effort to go, but allow yourself to leave early if it is too much, with or without an excuse for leaving
2) Smile and accept their generous hospitality and allow them to love and accept you as you are
3) Prepare something special for yourself for when you return home so that going home will be a special occasion too
4) Have your ’emergency friend’ on standby willing to accept your phone call if you need to have a debrief afterwards
5) Have fun and focus on the food and company rather than your own thoughts
Finally, if you are in Melbourne and you don’t have a better offer, come and join us, everyone is welcome – but remember, we are only here if you don’t get a better offer!!!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!
P.S. The same principles apply if you have been invited by some other family member or friend and you are not single but you are still not sure about whether or not you should go. It could be due to illness, age, disability, perceived differences etc.
If you really can’t muster up the courage to attend, please respond to the invitation and let people know when you would like to see them again in the future. This could be the case for difficult family circumstances if you believe that seeing everyone on the same day could be too much – but in my view, you don’t want to miss out on catching up with the people you do like! So make some alternative arrangements so that you can enjoy this year’s holidays – not just on one day, but perhaps over several days!