Remorse Poem

Remorse Poem By Sue Ellson

Remorse Poem

By Sue Ellson


As I sit a while
And think of the past
The people I’ve lost
The times so sad


The hearts I’ve broken
The tears I’ve shed
The smiles I’ve forgotten
The fears I’ve fled


As the tears well again
For words I’ve spoken
And actions I wish
Simply never happened


Some silences never end
Some thoughts always repeat
Stuck on rotation
Feels like defeat


I did the best I could
But was it enough?
Why did those moments
Fall off the cuff?




How many prayers will I speak
To repent those tragedies
Sent from a righteous peak
How could I get it so wrong
Why couldn’t I see what I had done?


As I remember pulling the trigger
The bullet was fired, the pain still lingers


How do I forgive myself
For the moral crimes I’ve committed?
How do I move on
When I think of the injured?


Out of the dark
Out of the gloom
Reluctant to emerge
From my doomed cocoon


I lurch
With kindness
With care
The rogue in me
Laid so bare
It is time for me
To be more aware


To be more respectful
To be more careful
To think of others
To put in buffers


To protect
To preserve
To shield
To strengthen


To drop the gun
To stop the fight
To release control
To invite the right


Heal my scars
Heal my heart
Heal my thoughts
Heal my part


No intent
No desire
To cause that pain
But here today
To start again


Absolute commitment
To amendment


For one
For many
Forever, humbly


After writing a poem on Sunday about ‘What if’ in relation to what I believed at a particular time and ‘what if’ I believed something else, today I dug a little deeper into some of those moments in my life that I have regretted. Things I said or did that in hindsight, I can see were clearly inappropriate and must have been very challenging for the person on the receiving end. I cannot personally apologise to some of those people as they have moved on and made it very clear I should not contact them again – ouch! I don’t like permanent endings. However, I would like to find a way to learn from those experiences and definitely not repeat the same mistake twice. I hope this poem reminds you that you too can move on and find a way to forgive yourself in the process. With love, Sue Ellson 🙂

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